Choosing your voice

Posted by Jennifer Campoli on February 16th, 2011
Filed under Coaching, Self esteem | 2 Comments »

I bid you hello from what is likely to be a 45 degree sunny day in Boston. :)

The February Thaw has begun and I think spring might be peeking around the corner. Just maybe…

I have a fun topic to chat about today, one that I have learned a great deal about and have also been applying with enormous focus in my life.

Choosing your voice


I've had a constant companion for over 25 years. She is smart, witty, thrives on tough love and has quite the negative disposition. There isn't a day where I don't hear her and there is rarely a moment where she doesn't influence my decisions or my day.

Meet my inner voice.

The first memory I have of my inner voice was 3rd grade. It was the end of the school year and I was the star of show-and-tell. I remember holding up a giant poster celebrating my best moments of the year. My teacher was standing next to me and if you look at the picture of this moment, I am a typical smiling 9 year old. And I was happy, don't get me wrong. But in the middle of my celebrity moment I remember these thoughts going through my head: "This poster is so not cool, Jenn. You should have  done more. If you had only added those extra pictures and glitter hearts everyone would be thinking how cool are you! You really messed up."

Why hello inner voice!

From that day on I became one with my voice, as I say. Some days I couldn't really hear her, other days she was all I could hear. This voice always demanded perfection. There was always someone or something better out there that I wasn't quite like.

This voice of mine drove my decisions, my attitude, my view of the world, and my relationships. Everything really.

Can you relate? Do you have a voice? What do you notice about yours? Is it supportive? Encouraging? Demanding? Positive? Negative some days?

When I became aware of my inner voice, I noticed how truly negative it was. Sure somedays I would push harder, work harder and do more as a result of it but most days- it was just down right negative.

The reality of this? A negative voice, a negative mindset creates negative thoughts, a negative attitude and ultimately a negative world.

But you know what the best part is about your voice? YOU have the power to take control and decide what it says. YOU have the choice to change it, listen to it, throw it out, or create a new one.

Often our inner voice is what holds us back from everything you could ever want in life! Often our inner voice is where our fear of failure lies, it is where our confidence dwindles. But we have the ability, the power, and the opportunity to choose what voice we hear and what voice we respond to.

Choosing your voice shifts your attitude.

So how do we begin to choose a different voice?

Step 1. Become aware of your voice.

What is that voice in there? What does it say to you? When does it speak loudly? When does it rear it's head in your life? What do you notice about it? This first step is a big one! Becoming aware of how you speak to yourself will uncover so many things about you, your attitude, even the choices you make. Begin by simply noticing and paying attention. You don't even have to do anything about it quite yet. Just observe.

Step 2. Replace negative with positive.

The hardest step I think. If you notice negative thoughts, a negative attitude or simply a negative view immediately replace it with a more positive or successful one. Imagine yourself sitting at work dreading tomorrow's meeting. You are nervous, unsure, lacking confidence. You notice your voice saying you aren't prepared, that you won't do well, that you will be the embarassment of the company. Stop the thought. Stop the rolling monologue and REPLACE it with a successful vision. YOU are prepared, you are confident, you are doing the work, you are a talented individual. You may have to replace that negative thought 50 times in one afternoon. That's ok! This will take practice and consistent effort.

Step 3. Visualize more.

Begin to give emotion, clarity and positive spin on your present day and future moments. Anticipate with happiness and joy. Take a moment each morning to think about your day- how would you like to feel, what emotions will you experience, what positive elements can you focus on during this day? Visualizing is a very powerful tool to choosing a new voice and a new attitude. Using it daily will create the positive thinking that you crave.

Step 4. Fake it.

Some days you can't get out of the negative space. Some days we can't be Sally Sunshine. But you can sure fake it like you mean it! Smile, give someone a compliment, offer advice, respond to how you are feeling with an emphatic FABULOUS! Surrounding your mind with new and positive energy- even if you don't quite feel will have an impact on your mindset! Trust me, we are all awesome fakers. :)

Friends, every day we have a choice. We have a choice in how we respond to the world, events, people and situations. We cannot control what might happen but we can control how we react to it. Use that power. It takes effort. It is not easy. Some days it might not happen.

Some days you can just call me Negative Nancy. End of story.

Nowadays my companion is supportive, embracing, nourishing and even kind. Sure she still loves a bit of tough love but only to the point that I allow. :)

Question of the day: What is your inner voice like? Has it been around for a while? Has it changed over the years?

No related posts.

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

2 Responses to “Choosing your voice”

Leave a Reply

CommentLuv badge